Here is one of the things I love most about being human, the fact that our circumstances don't determine our happiness, the way we process and think about our circumstances does.
What an amazing power to have right in our own precious mind.
The downside to that is, when we face trials and challenges, it can be harder to keep our attitudes (the way we think and feel) positive and working for us, especially if we haven’t learnt the techniques to keep control of our thoughts and how to reframe our thinking when it’s not serving us. It's not something that comes naturally to everyone, mostly because we don't consciously know it is even a ‘thing’, and the harder our life has been the less optimistic and positive we may have become as a result.
Here is the science behind that phenomenon.
You may know people who seem inherently optimistic or pessimistic most of the time, you are probably listing them in your head right now.
The reason for that, is when we focus on the positives, the good, the blessings and practice regular gratitude (in everything give thanks, even in hard times) we are literally strengthening our brains positivity bias, so it continues to point out and focus on the good around us on our behalf.
It starts to point out the opportunities in challenges, the solutions to problems, the I can to the I cant and this becomes your natural state of being in most circumstances, but let’s face it, nobody is positive ALL the time and that's not only OK, its normal. I mean, if we were happy all the time, how would we know?
The opposite scenario is that the pessimist has allowed their brain and thoughts to focus more on the downside of everything and this in turn has strengthened the negativity bias in the brain. This is called neuro-rewiring (or neural-rewiring), we have allowed neural pathways to develop and strengthen.
Now lets not 'diss' the negativity bias, it plays a very important role in helping us assess risk and danger so we can consciously manage it, but if left unchecked, it can run away with us and lead us down the path of a mindset of doom and gloom.
This has also been confused with people labelled lucky or unlucky.
Well they are not! All of us are simply people who either focus our attention on the blessings or the challenges.
In life we ALL have ups and downs and God/Universe/The I AM/Great Spirit (whatever name you use for the Higher Power) presents us ALL with opportunities and blessings, but only the brain that is wired to see the opportunities, the blessings, the possibilities will ‘seem’ to be more “lucky”. That part is OUR job, it’s where we partner with the Higher Power, to allow those blessings to be SEEN and then optimised in our lives.
So how do we rewire our brains for more positivity?
It’s so much easier than you think, but it requires a commitment to shed the tendency to blame, complain, see fault and so on. This often requires an ego check as well, but the results are beyond anything you could ever have imagined and will far outweigh the effort. Even as I write these words, I am so incredibly excited for those of you who will choose to adopt this new way of being, I could burst.
When I learnt these techniques I doubted how much difference would be made in my life, because my top core strength (according to ‘Clifton Strengthsfinder’) is positivity, so I didn't believe it could make me more positive, but the results astounded me, it changed things for the better in parts of my life that I could never have even predicted.
Because of this I have developed a program with workshops and coaching to teach women the skills and habits that will empower you to change your world, and here are a few things from that program that you can do to neuro-rewire your brain for more positivity.
Now just in case you were wondering, there is simply no downside to this practice, even kids can do it, in fact I recommend you teach young people in your lives to do these things to set them up for life success and happiness in their future. You have literally got nothing to lose and so much to gain.
First here are a few facts just to give you another reason to pursue development in this area.
Your brain at positive, is more productive, creative, accurate, analytical and focused, than it is at negative, neutral or stressed. When your brain is positive it releases dopamine into your system which makes you feel good, and it also turns on ALL your brain's learning centres, so it performs better in so many ways.
For more information on that, I highly recommend you check out “The Happiness Advantage” TED talk by Shawn Achor, a positive psychology specialist.
Let’s get you started, with my 5 tops tips to rewire your brain for happiness and positivity.
Start your day with gratitude - list everything you are grateful for as soon as you wake up, either on paper or just in your head.
Practice turning all complaints into gratitude - i.e. change, "omg my kids have left the dishes in the sink"… to… "thank you God that my kids are well and can make a mess,not in hospital or wheelchairs" and just in case they are in hospital or a wheelchair… "Thank you God that I can still hug them". Get the gist?
Every time you find a problem, stop and ask your mind to focus on any possibilities that could come of it, i.e. taking "I lost my job"...to..."this will now give me the chance to"…..
Every time you think I CAN'T, ask you brain to replace it with something you can
Finish your day by reflecting on all your highlights, your goals reached, your lessons learnt and your positive impact on someone else’s day. Write it all down so you can go back to it any time you are feeling like you haven't gotten anywhere.
These are very powerful practices and require your conscious effort, but I promise you if you do it every day for 21 days (which is how long it takes to start to create a strong neural pathway that sticks, you will never, ever regret investing that time into yourself.
As always if you need any encouragement or help in this or any other personal or spiritual development area, please do not hesitate to contact me or my team and we will be there for you any way we can.
If you are interested in any of the HappyLife program workshops be sure to subscribe to the website and also like and follow my Instagram or Facebook pages Fiona Briffa - Live out Loud to receive notifications of upcoming events as well as to get some Inspo and Encouragement on a regular basis
Sending you love and prayer.
Fiona
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